Bezos Breaks Bank with Billion-Dollar AWS Blunder

In a twist of irony that has left the tech world simultaneously gasping and giggling, former Amazon CEO and once-richest man on Earth, Jeff Bezos, has joined the ranks of the unemployed. The cause? A single AWS EC2 instance left running for a month. Yes, you read that right - the man who built an empire on cloud computing has been cloudily computing his way into bankruptcy.

Sources close to Bezos report that he absent-mindedly spun up an EC2 instance for “a quick test” and then promptly forgot about it for 30 days. The resulting bill, rumored to be in the billions, was enough to wipe out his vast fortune faster than you can say “one-click checkout.”

“I always told my employees to treat every day like Day 1,” a visibly disheveled Bezos told reporters from the comfort of his cardboard box mansion. “I just didn't expect Day 1 to involve dumpster diving for dinner.”

The cosmic joke of Bezos's financial freefall has not been lost on the tech community. “It's like watching Poseidon drown in a kiddie pool,” quipped one Twitter user, garnering more likes than Bezos's bank account currently has dollars.

Adding insult to injury, Bezos has been unable to secure employment in the current tech downturn. “We'd love to hire Jeff,” said one Silicon Valley CEO who wished to remain anonymous, “but we're worried he might accidentally order a million office chairs on Amazon out of habit.”

The stress of unemployment has taken its toll on the former tycoon. Once known for his distinctive laugh and gleaming bald pate, Bezos now sports a scraggly beard and a thousand-yard stare. His legendary workout routine has been replaced by frantic runs to the unemployment office.

In a final blow to his ego, Bezos's girlfriend, Lauren Sanchez, has reportedly left him for a Roomba. “At least it knows how to clean up after itself,” Sanchez was overheard saying at a charity gala for indigent tech billionaires.

As Bezos navigates this brave new world of budgeting and job applications, the rest of us are left to ponder the fragility of fortune and the importance of setting up AWS billing alerts. In the meantime, if you see a bald man in a faded Blue Origin cap asking if you want your cloud optimized, be kind - it might just be Jeff Bezos trying to earn his bus fare home.